domingo, 25 de octubre de 2015
domingo, 4 de octubre de 2015
What makes us
I thought my next entry would be about the most recent story I've read, The machine stops. But a facebook friend of mine made me change my mind.
So I have this facebook friend who could never be my friend in real life, ever. The way we think, our points of view, the morals from which we judge things, are incompatible and inconciliable.
We went to kindergarten together for 3 years. Then we never saw each other again, though we lived in the same neighborhood and he went to the same primary, secondary and high school as my cousin. And then one day, after more than 20 years not having talked or thought about each other, he found me on facebook and we started talking about our lives, what we were doing, the things we liked, music, movies... A quick catch up for a few days, which I believe both of us found interesting and nice. We even talked about meeting in person some day. Then after some time we forgot about each other again - but we stayed friends on facebook.
But for some time now, every time I log in, facebook shows me around 4 or 5 articles he's posted and every time I am so happy that we never got to meet again.
If I had to define him, from the limited information I get from what he posts, I would say he's a radical christian, islam hater, ultraconservative, fascist, racist, homophobic. He believes he has the moral authority to opine on how the rest of the people choose to live their lives (or die their deaths). He likes playing the rol of the christian victim, prosecuted for his faith. He sees life as "the world VS christians". He doesn't like the spanish Popular Party because it's not conservative enough. He doesn't like the new Pope because the way he observes christian principles is too loose and he's too permissive.
If he had to define me in return, he'd probably say I (me!!) am immoral, a babykiller, a terrorism supporter, a pervert, a sinner, a trouble maker. He'd reproach that I protest against bullfights but not against abortion and on this basis he would call me a hypocrite. The same way, he'd reproach that I protest about muslims but not about christians prosecution - again, hypocrite. And many other things he'd say about me, which would be probably as true as what I just said about him.
Anyway, one after another, sometimes I comment on his posts, sometimes I think it's not worth it. Sometimes he replies, sometimes I guess he thinks I'm not worth it. But the last straw was yesterday when he posted a link to an article based on the spanish version of this site ("Homosexuality and pedophilia"), calling attention on how pedophilia was much more prevalent among homosexuals than heterosexuals and therefore homosexuality equals immorality. I added "hypocrite" to the list of characteristics to define him, and I couldn't help mentioning the prevalence of pedophilia among christian priests so now I guess he added "pedophile" to his list of characteristics to define me (if he even cares about me at all, which I doubt).
The thing is, in my feverish state, I started thinking how he and I, two people with a similar background, educated in similar schools, according to similar ethics, have grown up to be so radically different. To what extent are we responsible for our thoughts?
During our childhood, it's our family that provides us the moral principles from which we will continue to see the world as we grow up. They are the first to tell us this is right and this is wrong. We don't get to choose our family. Had I been educated by this guy's family or he by mine, today I might be a fascist or he a pervert.
Then our parents decide what school to take us. At this point there are many factors intervening, none of them we control. Similar ideology between the school and our parents, quality of academic education, proximity, cost, references. I still don't know why my parents took me to a religious school, I don't know how much a religious education mattered to them, and I suspect, at that moment, it was one of the pluses. But at the same time they managed to counteract the school religious strictness with statements like "But no one really knows for sure", "It's not exactly like that", and such.
By our adolescence our moral principles are probably already set but still subject to shaping. From this point on, what matters most is the people we interact with, and these are either family determined or completely random (life determined). In any case, nothing we can do about it. But we already have a working definition of what is right and what is wrong, we already have a fixed level of indulgency beyond which we won't doubt to call something unacceptable, we have a permissible flexibility to establish a certain interval of doubt inside which we are able to admit that someone else's way might be as valid (or more valid) as ours. I guess my threshold for wrongness was higher than my facebook guy's, and I always recall my friend Santi as the first person who proved to me that one can be both a smart student and a heavy metal lover. I know it sounds lame, but that summer was a before and after in my conception of right and wrong, and it definitely widened my interval of doubt. My meeting him was completely random and it could have never happened as much as it did happen.
So life goes on, and we either do or do not meet people who are different or come from different backgrounds, and we either do or do not admit that it doesn't make them any worse (if anything, considering this guy's and my fortunate background, it makes them better). But we don't choose the people we meet. We only get to choose how we judge them. And that has already been conditioned for us before.
With all this I mean, if we don't control the people and events that shape our morality, who are we to judge how other people think?
Is my facebook friend to blame for his repudiation to homosexuals when god's existence for him is as real (and as provable) as god's inexistence is for me, and his god says homosexuality is a sin?
Am I to blame for not being sure about the ethics -or unethics- of abortion? Or for supporting euthanasia, after all the suffering I've seen (which he has not) and I've not been able to ease?
Is anybody qualified to judge anybody else?
So I have this facebook friend who could never be my friend in real life, ever. The way we think, our points of view, the morals from which we judge things, are incompatible and inconciliable.
We went to kindergarten together for 3 years. Then we never saw each other again, though we lived in the same neighborhood and he went to the same primary, secondary and high school as my cousin. And then one day, after more than 20 years not having talked or thought about each other, he found me on facebook and we started talking about our lives, what we were doing, the things we liked, music, movies... A quick catch up for a few days, which I believe both of us found interesting and nice. We even talked about meeting in person some day. Then after some time we forgot about each other again - but we stayed friends on facebook.
But for some time now, every time I log in, facebook shows me around 4 or 5 articles he's posted and every time I am so happy that we never got to meet again.
If I had to define him, from the limited information I get from what he posts, I would say he's a radical christian, islam hater, ultraconservative, fascist, racist, homophobic. He believes he has the moral authority to opine on how the rest of the people choose to live their lives (or die their deaths). He likes playing the rol of the christian victim, prosecuted for his faith. He sees life as "the world VS christians". He doesn't like the spanish Popular Party because it's not conservative enough. He doesn't like the new Pope because the way he observes christian principles is too loose and he's too permissive.
If he had to define me in return, he'd probably say I (me!!) am immoral, a babykiller, a terrorism supporter, a pervert, a sinner, a trouble maker. He'd reproach that I protest against bullfights but not against abortion and on this basis he would call me a hypocrite. The same way, he'd reproach that I protest about muslims but not about christians prosecution - again, hypocrite. And many other things he'd say about me, which would be probably as true as what I just said about him.
Anyway, one after another, sometimes I comment on his posts, sometimes I think it's not worth it. Sometimes he replies, sometimes I guess he thinks I'm not worth it. But the last straw was yesterday when he posted a link to an article based on the spanish version of this site ("Homosexuality and pedophilia"), calling attention on how pedophilia was much more prevalent among homosexuals than heterosexuals and therefore homosexuality equals immorality. I added "hypocrite" to the list of characteristics to define him, and I couldn't help mentioning the prevalence of pedophilia among christian priests so now I guess he added "pedophile" to his list of characteristics to define me (if he even cares about me at all, which I doubt).
The thing is, in my feverish state, I started thinking how he and I, two people with a similar background, educated in similar schools, according to similar ethics, have grown up to be so radically different. To what extent are we responsible for our thoughts?
During our childhood, it's our family that provides us the moral principles from which we will continue to see the world as we grow up. They are the first to tell us this is right and this is wrong. We don't get to choose our family. Had I been educated by this guy's family or he by mine, today I might be a fascist or he a pervert.
Then our parents decide what school to take us. At this point there are many factors intervening, none of them we control. Similar ideology between the school and our parents, quality of academic education, proximity, cost, references. I still don't know why my parents took me to a religious school, I don't know how much a religious education mattered to them, and I suspect, at that moment, it was one of the pluses. But at the same time they managed to counteract the school religious strictness with statements like "But no one really knows for sure", "It's not exactly like that", and such.
By our adolescence our moral principles are probably already set but still subject to shaping. From this point on, what matters most is the people we interact with, and these are either family determined or completely random (life determined). In any case, nothing we can do about it. But we already have a working definition of what is right and what is wrong, we already have a fixed level of indulgency beyond which we won't doubt to call something unacceptable, we have a permissible flexibility to establish a certain interval of doubt inside which we are able to admit that someone else's way might be as valid (or more valid) as ours. I guess my threshold for wrongness was higher than my facebook guy's, and I always recall my friend Santi as the first person who proved to me that one can be both a smart student and a heavy metal lover. I know it sounds lame, but that summer was a before and after in my conception of right and wrong, and it definitely widened my interval of doubt. My meeting him was completely random and it could have never happened as much as it did happen.
So life goes on, and we either do or do not meet people who are different or come from different backgrounds, and we either do or do not admit that it doesn't make them any worse (if anything, considering this guy's and my fortunate background, it makes them better). But we don't choose the people we meet. We only get to choose how we judge them. And that has already been conditioned for us before.
With all this I mean, if we don't control the people and events that shape our morality, who are we to judge how other people think?
Is my facebook friend to blame for his repudiation to homosexuals when god's existence for him is as real (and as provable) as god's inexistence is for me, and his god says homosexuality is a sin?
Am I to blame for not being sure about the ethics -or unethics- of abortion? Or for supporting euthanasia, after all the suffering I've seen (which he has not) and I've not been able to ease?
Is anybody qualified to judge anybody else?
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